Jeopardy Questions

Yeah...I know. It's been a couple of weeks. But way too many things have happened, especially when it comes to having nice things. While it's still fun to rage at America for the new Twilight movie (and don't get me starting on Alvin and the Chipmunks), there are other things that just make me shake my head in disapproval. If I could relate my life and things I've seen to Jeopardy, here's how I would imagine it.

1st Round and Categories: Common Sense, Nice Things, Logic, English, My Social Life, Things Said in Music History

• Common Sense for $200: These things are normally hot. *buzzes in* A: What are hot things? +$200, Total Winnings $200
• Common Sense for $400: This is not the best way to get mistletoe. A: What is shooting down your neighbor's from his tree. Oh wait...your neighbor is not home. Ok, How about not going to the mall with a fully-loaded shotgun and shooting at the mistletoe in the trees there, and then subsequently wondering why the cops are surrounding you? Good job guy in Georgia. -$400. Total: -$200
• Things Said in Music History for $400: Most people in the Romantic period had this disease. A: What is syphilis? +0 (Nobody in my class saw that coming) Total: -$200

Let's jump around a bit.

• English for $1000: Basic sentences are spoken in this language. A: What is English, not whatever the hell is coming out of my mouth when I try to speak? +$1000. Total: $800
• Nice Things for $1000. It's a Daily Double!!! Let's go double or nothing: This is very useful when you are trying to function...especially at work and you are scooping ice into a bucket. A: What is depth-perception? That is the correct answer, but since I apparently do not have depth-perception, it's still a loss. -$800. Total: $0
• My Social Life for $600.  This is something that I will mourn the loss of when I am in Organic Chemistry. A: What is my social life? +$600. Total: $600
• Logic for $800: This object exists for no logical reason. A: What is Puppy Tweets: Get actual tweets from your dog? Why America? Just why? -$800. Total -$200

Let's fast forward a bit:

• Common Sense ($800): You don't do this when you pull up to the window in drive-thru. A: What is order or change your order? +$800 (Total: $600)
• Logic ($1000): When I ask if you if everything on the order screen is correct, what do you do? What is don't say it is, and proceed to yell at me when the burger is made wrong for you. Read the freakin' screen and let me know if I need to change anything. It takes like 2 seconds people. +$1000 (Total $1600)
• Things Said in Music History ($1000): This is one thing that a music history video should do. A: What is pronounce the composer's name...correctly. ) -$1000 (Total: $600)

Dang. Out of time. The Final Jeopardy category is... My Job?!

I will go double or nothing again then. ...I guess. Wager: $600

This is the first thing you do when I start my shift.

*Jeopardy music plays*

My response: What is start working?
Answer: What is clock in, then proceed to not wonder why you cannot clock out to go on break?
Total Winnings $0

Looks like we can't have nice things again. Sorry about that.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

There is a problem. There is a problem indeed. We do things that make me cringe and I find it not hard to say something incredible snarky afterwards. Because of my one of my favorite TV shows, "Archer," I have been saying that we cannot have nice things since the end of my sophomore year. After hearing that phrase, I have learned that it can be applied to many, many things. I don't necessarily have to apply it to my life (and to be honest, more times than I need to), because I can also apply it to the surrounding world.

When I started the year as a PA, I was really excited, but also nervous. Would my peer group members like me? Will I be a "good" PA? Will any of them leave during NSO Week? Spoiler Alert- Everythings went perfectly, my members showed up to every event, my members still follow me around whenever they see me on campus, and other very positive things. As you can see, I am spewing a bunch of BS. Things went swimmingly, but not as well as I would like. Here's one big thing that happened that I should probably remember for next year. When you get a piece of paper telling you what your members' group advising rooms and a piece of paper telling you of individual advising rooms, it would probably help if we read the right sheet. I may or may not have done this causing awkwardness when members went to the individual advising sessions (for the ones that arrived late, or didn't get to meet their advisors.

When I was in music theory two month ago, there were things that were just downright epic fails, in class and at work (at my time at a fast food establishment, there have been things that make me judge). It's fun being a music minor, but it's not fun continually bombing questions that someone in a theory I class could have answered. It's also fun watching and and seeing someone unforgivably playing a certain Rebecca Black song in music theory. That day a murder was committed, and the victim's name was music.

At the fast food establishment I work at, it's probably a good thing to not dump an ENTIRE bucket of ice on the floor...while your boss is watching. In fact, there are several good things to not do while your boss watches. 1) Spilling a large drink. In front of the customer. While they watch you from their car at the drive-thru window. 2) Dropping a bunch of baskets (should I mention that this was also on the security camera...yeah, I should probably mention that. 3) Do not ask the person in the drive-thru if they want their food for here or to go. 4) If someone orders a combo, it is probably not advisable for your next question to be, "Did you want that in a combo?" 5) "Hot things are hot." That's a lesson that I think I really need to learn, and it's the thing that I say the most.

My other job on campus...maybe all I need to say is that people need to give people normal names, or at least pronounceable names. I am not going to call someone with the letters "X," "Z," "Q" and "B" with their name being pronounced Terry. Parents of the students we call...really...all you need to do is say that the student is busy, I don't need to know that your son/daughter is in the bed/shower with their boyfriend/girlfriend. That's a little too much information.

When I was in my first music history class, it is probably good to not spill your pumpkin spice latte all over your notes. On the plus side, I now have fantastic multicolored notes that also function as pumpkin spice smelling notes. It's also an epic fail when you write down the right answer to a problem, it's something that we are all victims of, and proceed to tell yourself that you're not correct. Then you write down the wrong answer.

I recently took a sociology class. I was told to not take it because of how hard it was. I was very cocky and was like, "Yeah, I got this." Yeah...I don't got this. It turns out that I had a crazy professor. Great. I thoroughly enjoyed the fourteen straight hours of working on my project and the getting to bed at 5 A.M. I also enjoyed looking really sketchy with my sociology groups, taking pictures and writing notes about the products in the mall. It also looks really sketch when your are walking around at Target at 10 p.m. writing down store prices. It's a good thing I also had to pick up some things while I was at work.

It's also fun seeing interactions on Facebook. Last year, I heard that someone used a permanent marker to write on a dry erase board. People, walking around in sweatpants with words across your butt i,s NOT attractive. I repeat, NOT attractive. Which also reminds me of the duck face. Yeah...Donald Duck is a fictional character. Sorry to break your hearts by telling you that. Actually, the whole social aspect of the internet needs to come into play here. A certain Rick Perry video that has sprouted up...actually, I think I can stop there. There's no need to watch something fail on its own; just take a look at the like to dislike ratio.

I also noticed this weekend that there is going to be a third Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. Thanks America. You let this happen. That is why we can't have nice things.